And It’s Ending One Minute at a Time

It’s been harder than I imagined, getting back on track post-wedding.  It’s been two months, and I’m still struggling to return to my healthy habits.  True, I’ve had a lot on my plate:  rituals to run, classes to teach, practices to attend, shows to perform… but I’ve been using the “too busy” excuse for far too long.

Is it hard to eat right on con weekends, sure.  And when all my time and energy are poured into practicing and performing improv, choreographing burlesque numbers, writing and learning new stories, and, oh yeah, running the only Blue Star grove for over 100 miles…  well, it’s easy to feel I deserve a little indulgence.  The trouble, of course, is that this is my life.

Some months are busier than others, sure.  But I have no intention of giving up any of these aspects of my life.  And in June* I start studying for my NASM personal trainer certification.  My life is busy.  I need the occasional day off to recharge, as any introvert would…  but I like that my life is busy.

Having had this realization, it’s time to stop letting “too busy” be an excuse for eating poorly or not getting exercise.  I’m not getting any less busy anytime soon, so it’s time to man up and get back on track.

*When at least the storytelling and burlesque will slow down for a few months.

Ragged Maniac

It turns out that when you abuse your body, it does eventually break down in revolt.  How do I know this?  Let’s visit my last couple of weeks, eh?

From my burlesque interpretation of Delta Rae’s Bottom of the River.

Last weekend (April 26-28) I was performing at a first-year geek convention in New Jersey.  The production company’s staff includes a lot of fans of my burlesque troupe, and they asked us to do five shows that weekend.  Normally we do two or three at a convention like this.  A couple of weeks before the show, in a fit of self-destruction, I also agreed to guest perform Saturday night with another troupe at the event.  That’s six burlesque shows in a 48 hour period, for a total of eleven numbers.  Four of those numbers were brand new (requiring choreography and lots of rehearsal), three I’d only performed once or twice before (requiring lots of rehearsal), and one was heavily modified to fit a show theme (requiring lots of rehearsal).  Plus, for the two months prior I’d been advertising that my fairy tale show would include new stories (both of which required LOTS of rehearsal).  There’s a physical element to dance rehearsals, of course, but mostly the week leading up that event was mentally and emotionally draining.  The event itself, doubly so.

The week that followed meant catching up on housework and my duties as clergy.  I addition to working on ceremonies for two weddings I’m officiating this month, I also had to get ready to host a Beltane ritual.  This meant not only returning the house to a semi-presentable state, but a considerable amount of yard work, as well.  But before people arrived for ritual on Sunday, I had to deal with Saturday and all that entailed.

One of many “wade through this questionably smelling mud” obstacles.

First and foremost, that meant getting up at the crack of dawn and driving an hour or so from home to run the Rugged Maniac with two of my friends.  Much like the Great American Mud Run I did in November, the Rugged Maniac is a 5k obstacle course.  And although we walked nearly all of it (we ran better than half of the GAMR) we finished the Rugged Maniac in roughly the same amount of time.  One of the obstacles was quite difficult*, a few got my adrenaline pumping for reasons related to my acro- and claustrophobia, but over-all the course wasn’t as challenging as I might have hoped.  Even so, I had fun, got good and muddy, and even made a couple of new friends.

Afterward, I came home, showered, napped (poorly), drove into the city to walk a friend’s dog, came back, and got gussied up for a friend’s bachelor party.  Knowing what I had to look forward to on Sunday I didn’t imbibe much, but still didn’t get home and back to bed until quite late.  Then it was up Saturday to finish mowing the lawn, trim last year’s Yule tree down to a maypole, weed the path to the fire pit and, oh yeah, build a new fire pit** to replace the rusty one that had been there.  And once all of that was done, host and priestess a major Wiccan sabbat.

One of many impressive bruises I gained on Saturday morning.

When I crawled out of bed this morning I assumed the aches and pains were all born of the physical activities of the last two days.  And certainly that’s part of the problem.  But when my throat started to feel inflamed and sore I realized that perhaps there was more to it than that.  Sure enough I’m running a low-grade fever.

I wouldn’t trade the last couple of weeks for anything, but my body is clearly telling me to take it easy for a bit.  I’ve canceled my plans for an evening jaunt into Raleigh, NC (It’s only three hours away!), and will be spending the evening watching movies and generally not moving more than necessary.  After all, I’ve got to be in good health for next weekend!

*Crawling under barbed wire up a muddy embankment (with the use of a rope).  This was difficult but not maddeningly so–until I reached the top, and essentially had to do an incline pull-up.  That’s the only time I felt particularly physically challenged.

**With bricks that had to be dug up from an overgrown section of the yard.  It’s an area that’s meant to be overgrown with ivy and such, so I really can’t imagine why the previous owners laid these bricks in the first place.

Worth 1000 Words

I’d originally intended to blog today about my return to running, or possibly the excitement I felt when I realized my federal return would cover the full cost of my personal trainer certification.  But before I had a chance to start writing, I came across this article posted in my Facebook feed.  I considered leaving a comment on my friend’s post, but I suspected my response would not go over well with that crowd.  Instead, I decided to write a full post, wherein I could better articulate my thoughts.  However, when I clicked over to WordPress.com to start my commentary, I saw that Natalie Slaughter (a blogger I follow here) had already posted her own thoughts on the matter.  The thing is, I don’t entirely agree with her either.

Okay, yeah. This woman appears to be judging.

Haley Morris-Cafiero is a photographer whose “Wait Watchers” series captures images of herself out in the world, doing mundane things.  More to the point, it also captures the reactions of the people around her.  The purpose of the series, as I understand it, is to call attention to the hurtful and inappropriate way we judge one another’s bodies.  It’s a point well worth making.  We’ve all had those terrible, catty moments when we’ve looked at someone else and judged him or her for his or her appearance–be it weight or sense of style that offended us, we’ve all been guilty of this.  And that’s truly terrible when you consider that we’ve all, almost as certainly, been on the receiving end of similarly demeaning thoughts.

This pic was titled “sunglasses” so I have to assume the guy with the fairly neutral face and hidden eyes (who could be looking very nearly ANYWHERE) is the judgmental subject of this photo.

The trouble I’m having with this photo series is that it doesn’t, to my mind, make this point at all.  There are certainly a few shots in which Morris-Cafiero is clearly receiving some unpleasant looks.  Most of the photos, however, seem to capture people making unpleasant faces that could be caused by/directed toward… well just about anything, really.  In many of these photos she seems to be standing stock still in the middle of a very busy sidewalk.  I’m willing to bet at least some of those dirty looks are about this frankly inconsiderate behavior, and not one bit about her appearance.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’ve certainly sat in a subway car or other public place and been made uncomfortable by a whispered conversation and furtive glances.  (Are they talking about me?  Oh gods, they think I’m fat–sit up straight, suck in your tummy, and whatever you do don’t look them in the eye.)  It’s a terrible feeling and I wish it on no one.  But these photos…  these photos say more to me about the artist’s low self-esteem and resultant paranoia than they do about the judgments other people make about her or her weight.  

Goddess Life Exercise DVDs

Originally posted on my old Livejournal account, this review is from 8/27/08 and was titled “Transformation then Liberation” (a quote from The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth by Creature Feature). 

The VHS cover

Back in the beginning of 2002 I picked up the Goddess Life Introduction to Belly Dance VHS. It was pretty bad. Dolphina, the hostess, is a complete New Age flake, and the people directing/editing the video seemed more interested in making pseudo-artistic wank-material for teenage boys. BUT. I was just coming away from a really nasty break-up (the very first in my life that left me upset, rather than relieved) and I wanted to feel pretty. Plus, I’d paid WAY too much money for it. So I plugged along, teaching myself the moves as best I could when what I needed to see were hips and feet, and what I actually got was a screen full of chest.

Once I figured out what I was supposed to be doing, it was actually a pretty good workout.

Although I did the video pretty regularly for a while, eventually my work outs became sporadic, and I’d go weeks, and months between viewings. Somewhere down the road–while on an exercise kick–I picked it up cheap on DVD and, while I was at it, picked up the Beyond Basics or “Warrior Goddess” DVD to go along with it. I only did the Beyond Basics DVD a few times before I once again got bored with my belly-dancing/fitness hobby, but it was a much better work out DVD. As with the first DVD, Dolphina’s costumes changed with each set change, but unlike the first DVD, there was only one set for the bulk of the work out, and a similar, but distinctly different set for the cool down. Most importantly, I could actually see what she was doing. During this period of fresh enthusiasm for the Goddess Life work outs, I added the Finger Cymbals and Veils DVDs to my wishlist.

A couple of years ago I received the Finger Cymbals DVD as a gift, but was so out of practice at that point, that I decided to refresh myself on the first two DVDs before I attempted this new one. Good intentions, blah, blah, the road to Hell, blah. I know.

So here I am in Virginia, on a serious exercise and fitness kick, and with big hopes of maintaining said fixation for the rest of my life. I’ve been biking a lot, as you know, and Micah and I have been rock climbing a goodly bit (although not as much as either of us would like, I think)… but I’ve also been doing a lot of workout DVDs. I’ve already raved about my new Go-Go Robics DVD, but I’ve only mentioned the Goddess Life DVDs in passing.

That said, they’ve been a pretty big part of my day-to-day life lately. If I’m not working (and therefore biking), I usually either do Go-Go Robics, or both the Introduction to Belly Dance and Beyond Basics DVDs (minus the first cool down and the second warm up). Go-Go Robics is an incredible cardio work out, but I’m seeing a lot more tone and strength building as a result of the Goddess Life DVDs.

The full DVD set.

In any case, although I did go to work today, I only biked in one direction–a friend was kind enough to give me a ride home, since it was pouring when I would have left. After a somewhat indulgent dinner at a local Ethiopian restaurant (anyone have any clue about WW points values?) I decided that I shouldn’t just blow off that extra hour of exercise. I considered doing the first two belly dance DVDs, but I just did those yesterday, and it didn’t seem like the best way to use my time today. On the other hand, on this dreary, rainy day, I wasn’t at all sure I had the energy or stamina for Go-Go Robics.

In the end, I put on the Finger Cymbals belly dance DVD. It was… well, it began with a Mudra warm-up. It didn’t feel like much of a warm up, but what did I know? We were going to be using our hands a lot, so maybe this was important. Maybe my hands would cramp up if I didn’t do this. Maybe this is something I should start doing before I go climbing. How as I to know? To be honest, I don’t think it made a difference, and I’m willing to bet Dolphina made-up or at least badly butchered their meanings. Next she taught a few rhythms. She did this by associating each pattern to a phrase. Now, for my own money this was irritating and obnoxious… but then again, I’ve been able to read music since I was eight or nine. I’d much rather learn “one, two-and, three, four,” than “I am-a godd-ess” Still, I’m willing to concede that in this context it’s an easy way to teach those who may not have any kind of musical background, and makes it easier to refer to each pattern later on. Okay, fine.

At last! The workout. This is really just adding the cymbals to moves that I learned in Introduction and Beyond Basics. Which is fine, and more or less what I expected of the DVD. The work out itself lasts maybe twenty minutes and then it’s back to the Mudras for a cool down. All told, the DVD lasted about half an hour and I didn’t even break a sweat. I’m glad I have it, and I think I’ll see about sneaking the “work out” portion of the DVD between Introduction and Beyond Basics the next time I do it.

I like the idea of including the cymbals since I think this practice will make me a more versatile dancer, but it’s just not a work out by itself. I’m hoping that the Veils DVD (when I eventually get my hands on a copy) will be a bit more of a workout, as it seems like there will either be new moves to learn, or at least more practice of old moves to incorporate the veils. Maybe I’m terribly wrong, but it seems like a bigger and more complicated addition than finger cymbals. If I’m right about that, maybe I’ll break these two off into their own work out… but for now, at least, I think Finger Cymbals just gets incorporated into my current belly dance workout.

Snake Hips

Or, Dance Your Cares Away

A few months ago I was killing time in a local used book store.  I had a pile of books at home, waiting to be read, so I wasn’t really planning on making any purchases.  In fact, I’d already picked up and put down several books currently languishing in my Amazon wish list.  However, as I wandered through the memoir section of the store, the title “Snake Hips” caught my eye.  I didn’t know the term, but it put me in mind of all the “snake arms” and “yin yang hips” Dolphina gabbles about in her belly dance DVDs.  Sure enough, this was a memoir about a woman who’d had her heart-broken, and found solace in belly dance.

Before I go any further, let me share with you a piece of my own story.  When I was about 18 my first serious, grown-up boyfriend (or so I thought) dumped me in a pretty fantastically awful way.  While I was still recovering from my first real break-up, I came across an exorbitantly priced VHS copy of Dolphina’s Intro to Belly Dance work out.  On the cover, Dolphina (then unknown to me) was pictured in this Roman-inspired mini-paradise, and dressed in gauzy, flowing fabrics.  I’d never been interested in belly dance before, but then and there it seemed like an exotic escape, available in my own living room.  And even though I didn’t love the work out at first* I stuck with it.  Whether it was just the endorphins and stress relief from regular exercise, or something more, belly dance is now forever linked in my mind with emotional healing.

As I’m sure you can understand, when I read the synopsis on the back of Snake Hips, I had an instant sense of fellowship with the author.  As I dug into the first few chapters and discovered she was from Richmond (my very own adopted, home town!) that feeling grew.  And then I posted something on Facebook, mentioning this neat book I was reading about the Richmond belly dance scene… and got about a  million replies saying, “Oh, are you reading Anne’s book?”  Although we’ve never met, I’m apparently only two Kevin-Bacon-degrees removed from the author.  Whoops!

So while she seems like an interesting and entertaining woman, and while I enjoyed the book…  I don’t quite feel comfortable writing a proper review here.  On the flip side, the book inspired me to get (back?) into belly dancing.  I’ve taken the odd workshop here and there, and own more belly dance workout DVDs than any two other categories combined, but I’ve never performed as part of a troupe, or even taken a proper class.

I’ve always thought of certain kinds of dancing as a mind-body experience as intense as yoga.  It’s hard to believe that I’ve been living one of the biggest belly dance centers of the country for almost five years now, and haven’t even taken a class!  Not only do I plan on signing up for classes once I’m past my burlesque/storytelling busy season, but I’m adding teaching belly dance to my list of long-term goals.

*I reviewed this DVD on my old Livejournal account years ago, but apparently never moved the review here.  I’ll make sure that gets reposted in the next day or two.

Who Needs to Breathe?

I stopped posting for a while there in the lead-up to the wedding.  I didn’t stop exercising, though, and I was still reasonably good about counting calories (although after the final dress fitting I was as afraid of losing weight as I was of gaining it).  But who has time to write a coherent post in between trial hair appointments, manicures, pedicures, making seating arrangements, and all the other last-minute details?  Not me, that’s for certain.

A bit blurry, but one of my favorite snapshots.

I’d entertained this notion that somehow I’d have more free time after the wedding.  Or, at least after the honeymoon.  After all, the only wedding-related item on my to-do list after that weekend would be sending out thank you cards.  Easy enough.

The more fool I.

Sure, there’s no more wedding stuff to do, but there was a big pile of stuff I’d been neglecting in favor of wedding prep.  The house was a wreck, the laundry baskets were overflowing, and I’d done nothing whatsoever to prepare for any upcoming classes or rituals.  So here we are, two weeks since the wedding, and I’m finally feeling like I’ve returned to something resembling equilibrium.

Those Daleks are the reason I haven’t been on a scale in two weeks.

So what does that mean in terms of the whole mind/body/wellness/blogging thing?  Well, hopefully it means you’ll start seeing regular posts here quite soon.  It also means that I finished reading Snake Hips about a month and a half ago (and have read roughly a dozen Discworld books in the meantime).  I’ll give it a short write-up soon, but for a myriad of reasons it won’t be my usual in-depth review.  And finally, it means that I’m on the cusp of signing up for my personal trainer certification.  I’ll keep you updated on that as things unfold.

Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred

This review is a little early, as I only started the plan 23 days ago.  However, I feel that I have all the information I need to give an honest and fair review.

To that end, let me first say that this is a killer workout.  The DVD offers 3 levels of intensity, with easier, modified moves shown throughout.  The video features Michaels and two other women behind and to either side of her.  Unlike most exercise videos, however, the lead instructor doesn’t do most of the workout.  Instead she begins each exercise with you, and then moves away from her mat to the other two women.  Rather than just describing good form and modified moves she shows them Vanna White style.  It’s an extremely effective teaching technique that I wish more video instructors would utilize.

The workouts are tough.  After each session I was red-in-the-face and more sweaty than I’ve ever been after a strength training session.  This is because the workouts all consist of 3 circuits in the same pattern.  Each circuit consists of 3 minutes of upper/lower body strength training, 2 minutes of cardio, and 1 minute of core strength training.  The moves in each circuit are different, so you’re challenging your muscles in new ways every 6 minutes.

Like I said, it’s a great, total body workout that will really get your blood pumping.  However, a few words of warning are in order.

Yeah. It’s a lot like that.

Michaels’ teaching style is aggressive, and some of her motivational comments strike me as a bit dangerous.  “I want you gargling your heart when this is over, ” and “I have 400 lb people doing jumping jacks, so don’t tell me you can’t do this,” are the ones that leap immediately to mind.  While she’s right that you’ll get better results if you really push yourself, I worry that someone listening to this sort of advice might genuinely hurt themselves.  The 400 lb people she’s talking about are doing these jumping jacks on the set of The Biggest Loser.  Their trainer is standing right next to them to correct their form, and I’d be shocked if The Biggest Loser didn’t have EMTs on hand,  just in case.  People exercising in their homes don’t have these safety nets.

The rest of Michaels’ pep talks focus on appearance and calorie burn.  It’s probably a safe assumption that most of her viewers are fans of The Biggest Loser, and trying to replicate some of that TV weight-loss magic.  Given that, I can’t blame her for occasional comments about going bathing suit shopping, or how many more calories are burned doing a combination move versus a single move.  But in the first two levels she doesn’t once say anything about feeling healthier, or being able to keep up with your kids better, or not getting winded walking up the stairs.  Not a single comment about the way exercise can improve your life beyond a smaller pants size or a better bikini body.  Jillian Michaels is probably the biggest name in fitness these days, and it’s a shame that this is the message she’s chosen to send.

Now, you may have noticed that I made no comment about her level 3 banter.  The reason for this is that 23 days into this “30 day” workout program, I’m still on level 2.  And frankly, should probably have stuck with level 1 longer than I did.  Despite the name, “30 Day Shred,” the how-to-use-this-DVD intro track says to progress to the next level “when you’re ready.”  Bad at math, though I may be, even I could figure out that to complete the program in 30 days I should do each level for 10 days.  At the end of the first 10 days I pushed myself to level 2, and it was a mistake.  Level 1 was significantly easier on day ten than it had been on day one, but I was still doing the modified versions of several moves.  At day eleven I should have challenged myself to do the unmodified level 1 moves, not to move on to the next level.  The title and accompanying marketing is misleading at best, and frustrating as all get out.

You’re meant to use this DVD every single day.  And while I’m all for exercising everyday, doing the exact same routine over-and-over, day-in-and-day out, isn’t the most effective way to build/tone muscle or improve endurance.  I’ll be keeping this DVD in heavy rotation (going back to level 1, and moving on when I’m actually ready), but intend to scale it back to 3 or 4 times a week with other workouts slipped in between.